This article sheds a lot of light
on the internal struggles women had post WWII.
It was during this time that women were seen as only housewives and mothers,
and if they were to seek more than that, an education or a career, it was seen
as “unfeminine”. Women were being
pressured to be these perfect housewives, who care for their children, take
care of the home, and do it all with a plastered smile on their faces silently
accepting that this is all they’re meant to do.
These pressures came from all the experts and Freudian ideas constantly
telling women that “their role was to seek fulfillment as wives and mothers”
(Friedan). Such societal pressure like
this clearly sets extremely high expectations for women to be “picture perfect”
and the epitome of femininity.
So,
once women felt that they couldn't live up to these standards and really start
to question this idea of what an ideal woman is, negative feelings and thoughts
start to fill their heads. “I feel empty
somehow…incomplete.” “I feel as if I don’t
exist.” “I’m so ashamed.” (Friedan) These
are just some of the words women chose to express this “problem that has no
name”. In the article Friedan notes that
a doctor called this problem “the housewife’s syndrome.”
I
feel like this problem that affected women in the 50’s is comparable to so many
other problems and issues both genders face due to societal pressures. There
are definitely standards both men and women are told to live up to, and when
they don’t meet these standards or don’t agree with them it leads to the same
feelings of shame women felt in the 50’s. What
are some of the thoughts that came up for you while reading the Friedan
article? Do you think the article has
some relevance or can relate to other issues surrounding gender roles today?
What struck me as really interesting about this reading was that even though women who identified as feminine and wanted the whole family life (personally, I don't consider the desire for family life or lack of, to be linked to femininity)also felt those feelings of "missing" something. I can only imagine the guilt they felt having those feelings and wondering if they truly did love their families; despite wanting more, despite knowing that, no, it was not enough. Wondering if something was wrong with themselves. Women struggle with these feelings today. Especially when being forced to choose between career and family in a lot of cases. Fascinating stuff.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that as well. It was really the fact that during this time period women were expected to be housewives, nothing more. So, why would they even consider anything else? It's that question that I think really created all those negative feelings, the 'there must be something wrong with me" mentality then kicks in because they're not supposed to feel this way. It seems like such a trapped-in feeling these women experienced, as if they thought they really weren't allowed to voice how much they disagreed with these expectations.
DeleteTrapped in feeling is definitely the word that describes the whole article. A possibility of a trapped in life will be as well, because a housewife didn't have a voice to speak up of their feelings.I also agree with "the common expectation" for a male or female, yet our focus goes straight to a female rather than a male because they are more vulnerable. Yet, I'm sure some of the questions stated in the article relate to a male perspective but it's just not commonly heard. I also most definitely agree with both perspectives about this article!
ReplyDeleteWhen I read this article, I automatically thought about how alone and powerless some of those women felt. Especially if you were one of those women who felt unfulfilled, depressed, or oppressed, only to be most likely unacknowledged by your husband or dismissed by your psychiatrist. Like you said @Lolabunny, women felt guilty, or something was wrong with them. No wonder! Imagine if you didn't even have any girl friends to talk to who felt the same way?? I'd go totally insane. To live without any dreams, to have no unique identity as a human being, to just live your life with the title "housewife" til the day you die, or the kids grow up and get married. Being a housewife in today's society is not a BAD thing to me, in fact I view it as a job or a privilege to be there for your children 24/7, just like any other career could be. But to have zero choice in the matter on what your life will become, or is at the moment, is similar to being a maid or servant, if you ask me. I know that's kind of extreme to say, but hey! Don't we pay people to do our laundry, cook, clean and watch our kids now?
ReplyDeleteWhat was unnerving to me was this passage here, "They were taught to pity the neurotic, unfeminine, unhappy women who wanted to be poets or physicists or presidents. They learned that truly feminine women do not want careers, higher education, political rights-- the independence and the opportunities that the old-fashioned feminists fought for." (“The Problem That Has No Name”- Betty Friedan)
It's so sad that women were told to pity the women who were most likely shaping what would become equal rights. It just makes me sick, because I know that I would be a total outcast had I lived then, and I am sure most of you would be also!
What stuck out to me in particular was the idea that this societal control over women's post-WWII life options was at least partially achieved by accusing feminism (which would be considered by most to be a progressive social view) as "old-fashioned." In essence, painting the the return to traditional, patriarch-controlled femininity as a new ideal to counter the 'silly old women's libbers' is a remarkable way to present oppression as 'revolution.'
ReplyDeleteI think the saddest part of this article is the fact that it was written in 1963. Little did Ms. Friedan know that fifty years later, we would still be battling to challenge this paradigm of 'proper femininity,' and struggling to even fully understand the plight of women.
After reading Friedan’s article, “The problem that has no name,” I immediately made a connection with Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s short story, “The yellow wallpaper,” where Gilman symbolically critiques the position of women within the institution of marriage. This story reveals the negative effects that gender roles division had on women in the 19th century. Due to the fact that women were forced to remain at home and become good housewives they were not allowed to pursue a life outside of their marriages. Gilman also showed how society misjudged and mistreated women who fell imprisoned and depressed because of the lives that they were forced to live, and almost 71 years later Friedan addresses this same issue “When a woman went to a psychiatrist for help, as many women did, she would say, "I'm so ashamed," or "I must be hopelessly neurotic." Therefore, it is not difficult for me to think that women today still experience the same kind of imprisonment because many women today in many places around the world are still being treated as second class citizens where men still hold the highest positions in the job market and in the household.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading " The Problem that has no name", I realized how things have changed so little since the 1950's. Women are still expected to fulfill the role of being the caregivers, always being happy and the perfect housewives. As Friedan states in this piece, women have been encouraged to confine themselves to a very narrow definition of womanhood. They had to sacrifice pursuing their own dreams in order to achieve the sate of real womanhood as a mothers and wives. Today, these ideas are still present in society , however women have gained more control over their lives and have demonstrated that they are capable of doing the same jobs that men do.
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ReplyDeleteAfter reading this article I feel that some of these issues are still relevant today. Woman are often pressured or expected to fit the housewife role. This can come from both family and society in general. We are encouraged to be submissive and discourage when we are not and have something to say. This is not to knock down those who are housewives but many woman can be happy without that specific lifestyle. Its sad to imagine being in the position of a woman back in the 50's with no voice. Like Professor Pok mentioned in class, not every woman is born to be a mother, or mother material. Its nonsense to believe that a womans fullfillment lies in being a wife or a mother. If that is the case then why isn't the fullfillment for a man to be a husband and a father? Another thought after this reading is that, why can't a woman be truely feminine and want a career, or a higher education. It just opens a can of worms of why things are the way they are and how it has definetly shaped our society today.
ReplyDeleteIn the article, "The Problem that has No Name" by Betty Friedan, tells how women from past decades devoted their lives to their families. It was how women at that time were raised; even though, there were women who were not satisfied to lead their lives as only housewives.The housewives felt lonely as time was passing by them. Although, as it is mentioned that during that time if a woman tried to do something besides being only housewife, she would be called "unfeminine" by society. Women wanted to be more than just housewives, and be heard. Nowadays, the role of women in society has changed, they are getting degrees and working, and at the same time they look after their families.
ReplyDeleteThe problem that has no name, consist of many issues woman faced years ago, but even today suffer of the same issue. Woman then were not encourage to work and were portrayed as fragile beings who were trained to be house wives as little girls from their parents to do house work, clean, cook, take care of children and the whole 9 yards. Woman couldn't even have the thought to study and do anything outside of the house because that was never their duties as woman, but why cant woman wish and fulfill their dreams as well ? why must they be judged to be bad mothers and wives if their time is dedicated to a different thing in their lives. Today we see some woman who have changed this structure and wait to get married and have children until a later point in their lives, but even woman who are extremely successful get criticized for wanting something more than a family and house work.
ReplyDeleteDuring the 50’s the idea of being a housewife was made to look like a dream for women. Women were constantly being told what and how they should be like in order to reach their true femininity and happiness. Experts believed that a women’s role as a housewife would bring fulfillment to them, but perhaps the problem was that these “experts” who constantly sold these dreams of being a happy house wife were men who thought they knew what it meant to be a women and what women needed in order to feel fulfilled. It was very interesting to read that so many women struggled with the shame and the guilt of not being happy with their lives as housewives. The banality of their lives as housewives and of constantly being told how they should be is the emptiness they felt. The desire that women felt to be more than just a wife and a mother is “the problem that has no name” of which the author talks about.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if anyone has seen "Mona Lisa Smile," but the movie addresses exactly what Friedan was talking about in regards to the role of women in the 50's and earlier. The premise of the movie was that women were capable of becoming college educated and doing something with their degrees afterwards. However, when the pressure was put on women (mostly by their mothers and fiances) to abandon their education, most women chose the path of housewife rather than continuing their education and becoming independent women.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that the problem of patriarchy and the oppression of women "had no name," is deeply disturbing; disturbing because people refused to acknowledge the oppression of women so much that they could not even address the problem as it was. The fact that the women Friedan talks about were able to admit that they felt mistreated at the hands of a male dominated society, proves that women were the only ones acknowledging the injustice.
The issue of gender inequality is absolutely relevant in the world today. We directly saw this issue arise in politics during the presidential debates, where President Obama called Romney and Ryan out on their refusal to sign the Lilly Ledbetter Act, a proponent of equal pay in the workplace, despite gender. We also see this "housewife syndrome" in situations of domestic violence, where the abused woman feels that she deserves the mistreatment from her spouse. She begins to believe that her only purpose in life is to maintain the household at the demands of her male counterpart. These are just two examples of the existing, inequality of gender roles today.