Nature vs nurture in the world of toys and gender

In class discussions and readings we have explored gender as a social construct. It seems as though most of us agree that gender is something that is taught to us at a young age through direct and indirect mediums. We have discussed at great length the power of marketing and media in perpetuating gender stereotypes, including the gender-biased marketing of toys to children and their families. As a parent of two young girls I am constantly aware of how society shapes the minds of my children without my even having a say in it and that is often very disconcerting. Nevertheless, I believe that no matter what society or the media throws out there to mold, sway or even corrupt their little minds, it is our job and challenge as parents to steer them in the right direction. Being the closest source of trust and information to our children gives us the power, much stronger than the media, to create conscientious, caring, objective and forward-thinking individuals.

For example, last year, my daughter asked for a Lego Friends set for her 6th birthday. I was actually excited because it was the first time she actively showed an interest in Legos and as a well-read parent I knew how important building toys are for developing spatial, math and problem-solving skills in young children. As I was online comparing prices and trying to decide which set to purchase I came across a video posted by one of my friends on Facebook that totally deflated my excitement.

After watching, these videos I decided that there was no way I would purchase one of these sets for my daughter and intentionally force gender stereotypes into her world of playtime. I started researching all the different types of sets offered by Lego, I asked for opinions from friends and finally when I thought I had narrowed it down to a few "gender neutral" Lego Creator sets, I decided to ask my daughter which one she wanted. She was confused and wanted to know where the Lego Friends set was. She knew exactly what she wanted and I was faced with the dilemma of whether to force gender neutrality into her world or just let her have what she wanted and give her time to figure it out on her own. I had to weigh my priorities carefully and decided that my main concern was that she wanted to play with Legos at all, and if it was because of this new product being marketed to young girls, then Lego was actually doing me a favor. 

So I purchased her one of the sets, a veterinarian hospital, although I admittedly was not sure if I'd made the right decision. Finally, I got to watch her play with her new toy and my fears were put to rest. The look of interest and concentration in her face as she figured out how to create that big hospital from those little blocks was proof enough to me that my goal of getting her to engage in problem-solving and creating something was met. When she finally completed the set, the sense of accomplishment and confidence she exuded was joyous to me. Her little sister was just as excited and asked for a set for herself for her next birthday. Three or four sets later, I still love watching them both play with their Legos, which are now less of a set and more of a bin-full of pink, purple, white and green lego pieces that they assemble to create a variety of objects. 

While witnessing their interaction with these building blocks, I am convinced that what's most important in this nature vs nurture business is that we nurture what really matters in our children like creativity and open-mindedness. Children are very impressionable, but they are also pretty smart and intuitive on their own as shown in the clip below. While it is our job as parents to guide them, if we keep their options open, expose them to different experiences and let them think for themselves, they will not be at the mercy of gender-biased marketing ploys. In fact, maybe they will make a difference in how toys are marketed to children and their families like the boy who got Hasbro to make a gender neutral version of the Easy Bake oven.