The female colleague that I interviewed is a teacher in her late thirties, that also counts being a mom and wife as part of her occupation. She has a Bachelor's Degree in History and a Masters in Education and makes approximately $70,000 per year. While she stays "quite busy" in her current job, she considers taking care of her two little boys her "real job" and her "greatest passion." She loves her teachers' hours and summers off, nevertheless she often finds herself trying to "juggle" her work and home obligations.
Being a teacher means "always bringing work home with you" and being a mom means "always bringing home to work." Her husband helps out with much of the housework because he is a stay-at-home dad. He is a freelance graphic artist and is able to do most of his work from home. He takes their older boy to pre-school and on playdates and takes care of the baby. While she admits she has to prep the baby's food and clothing for him(especially since she is still breastfeeding), he takes very good care of the baby on his own. He is also a great cook and does most of the cooking, but she loves when they cook a meal together.
The male colleague that I interviewed is also a teacher in his late thirties. He is currently working towards a Master's Degree in Special Education and also makes about $70,000 per year. Interestingly, when asked about his occupation he answered that he is a teacher and coach, but not a father. Later on in the conversation it came out that he is indeed a father and a husband who is very involved in his families' life. In his role as teacher and coach he puts in a lot of time, even during holidays and summers, but he does it all to provide everything his family needs and wants. He seems to pride himself on being able to provide for his family in this way. While he seemed to focus more on his career accomplishments during his interview, it was clear that his career was focused around being a provider. At the same time, he also helps out at home with laundry, dishes, cleaning and cooking because his wife also works full-time and he knows she works hard too.
Comparing my first two subjects was very interesting because both subjects were similar in age, profession, salary, educational level and even family life, however, they both seemed to have a different focus. The female spoke positively about her profession, but it was when she spoke of her other more important role of mother that she lit up and spoke passionately. Listening to her, I could hear the longing in her voice when she spoke of her children and her husband being home taking care of them. She spoke of all the things her children are doing "without" her. The male spoke almost exclusively about his paid work and how it related to how he takes care of his family. He even spoke about his unpaid work in relation to taking care of his family and helping his wife in his role as provider.
The next person I interviewed is a female family member who works as an office manager for a food services company. She is in her early fifties and has a high school diploma. She makes approximately $50,000 per year. Although her job is a typical 9-5 job, she often finds herself bringing work home and going into the office on Saturdays to catch up on her work. Even when she's not working she finds herself thinking about all the things she has to do at work and checks her work email all the time. She is also caring for her aging mother who suffers from dementia and requires constant attention. She gets help from a home attendant when she is at work and on Saturday, but the rest of the time she is on her own. She has to do everything from bathing her, feeding her, giving her medication, taking her to doctor's appointments, and keeping her company. She also does most of the housework in the home including all laundry, cleaning, cooking and yard work. She is very overwhelmed and feels like she needs more help. Her husband helps with home maintenance and yard work, but does not help with cooking, cleaning and laundry.
The last person I interviewed is the husband of my previous subject and works as a Supervisor for a food distributor. He is in his early fifties and has a bachelor's degree in business. He makes approximately $60,000 per year. He has always been in the same industry, but has done all types of jobs within-manual labor and managerial. He technically has a "normal 9-5" schedule, but is always on call because he manages many routes. This means he is often called away to emergencies and routinely works weekends. He is also sent away for trainings on a regular basis. He feels he is always working and is ready for retirement to a nice, little community in Florida. He tries to spend his free time golfing and enjoys doing yard work and fixing things around the house. He also enjoys spending time with his wife and family.
When comparing this couple it is clear that even though they both work hard in demanding jobs, the wife is expected to also fulfill the "traditional" model of wife and homemaker. The male subject implied that he has done his part by working and providing materially for his family and he now expects to sit back and enjoy all he has worked hard for. While the female also implied that she feels entitled to enjoy what she has worked for, I could almost hear the guilt in her voice as she spoke of her responsibility of taking care of her mother and even her grown children and grandchildren.
The couple also makes me think about how age affects how unpaid work is viewed, since in their case the female clearly handles most of that work. When compared to the first two subjects, it is clear that these views evolved over a generation. Another factor in the differences between these subjects is educational level, since the first two subjects have a higher level of education and seem to have more liberal views than the last two subjects.
No matter how much more "evolved" the younger, more educated subjects' views are in regards to work and gender it is clear that all subjects are shaped by societal views and expectations. The teaching mom longs to be at home with her children because that is what society says she's supposed to want. The teaching/coaching dad spends most of his time working because society says he's supposed to provide for his family. The office manager wife is overwhelmed because on top of working to take care of her family, society also expects her to take care of every other physical and emotional need of her family. The supervisor husband feels entitled to sit back and enjoy the ret of the ride because according to society he has done his job by materially providing for his family.
Clearly, from these accounts and others we have read about, we are evolving and times are changing. Still there is still a long way to go before we are able to completely remove from our psyches what society has spent a lifetime ingraining into our brains.
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